In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
