Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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