so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
