You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Randomize
