Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize