it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
