My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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