hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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