and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
