You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
