Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
