Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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