We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
