He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Randomize
