just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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