I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
