Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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