What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
You ate ashes out of my bong
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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