don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
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