Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Randomize
