i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
