does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
