She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I have aggressive nipples.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Randomize
