his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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