paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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