So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
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