we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
