is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
so let's talk penis.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
