Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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