so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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