is your mom at the bar?
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
i wish my penis had a tongue
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
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