My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Randomize
