Texts From Last Night

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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...

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  (717): I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners... http://tfl.nu/4h9y
  Replies (40) Good night (3697) Bad night (1141)
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  (952): View more from Minnesota

  he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.

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  (952): he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting. http://tfl.nu/x0uv
  Replies (6) Good night (5003) Bad night (701)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free

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  (614): i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free http://tfl.nu/fc7m
  Replies (33) Good night (4281) Bad night (687)
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.

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  (605): You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex. http://tfl.nu/lyw2
  Replies (10) Good night (4844) Bad night (914)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend

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  (403): Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend http://tfl.nu/6ul7
  Replies (5) Good night (3796) Bad night (960)
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  (714): View more from California

  Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.

  (1-714): View more from California

  If he was naked that was me.

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  (714): Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed. (1-714): If he was naked that was me. http://tfl.nu/ou2y
  Replies (10) Good night (4790) Bad night (629)
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409

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  (501): And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409 http://tfl.nu/uewi
  Replies (4) Good night (552) Bad night (1203)
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  (925): View more from California

  Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion

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  (925): Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion http://tfl.nu/770v
  Replies (3) Good night (446) Bad night (949)
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.

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  (520): Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds. http://tfl.nu/3cpt
  Replies (6) Good night (1273) Bad night (374)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?

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  (405): Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50? http://tfl.nu/w6wp
  Replies (6) Good night (1126) Bad night (234)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.

  (936): View more from Texas

  I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.

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  (713): So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY. (936): I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating. http://tfl.nu/ukan
  Replies (3) Good night (780) Bad night (291)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll

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  (847): Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll http://tfl.nu/osu5
  Replies (0) Good night (237) Bad night (435)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"

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  (410): Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men" http://tfl.nu/o2lw
  Replies (1) Good night (440) Bad night (311)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic

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  (908): I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic http://tfl.nu/9xsu
  Replies (0) Good night (534) Bad night (156)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.

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  (330): I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake. http://tfl.nu/lvqj
  Replies (0) Good night (314) Bad night (139)

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