i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Randomize
