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• (314): View more from Missouri

  his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?

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• (954): View more from Florida

  Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.

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• (845): View more from New York

  They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.

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• (954): View more from Florida

  my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch

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  Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July

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• (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle

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• (407): View more from Florida

  Your cock is gonna weep like a baby

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• (510): View more from California

  yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him

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• (240): View more from Maryland

  SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP

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  19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced

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• (714): View more from California

  The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.

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• (423): View more from Tennessee

  I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.

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• (818): View more from California

  I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.

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• (360): View more from Washington

  I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.

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• (417): View more from Missouri

  You went to a drug deal in a onesie.

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• (973): View more from New Jersey

  So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.

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