pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
21 Awkward Ways People Found Out Their Partner Was Into Outrageous Sex Acts
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Your shirt... Was in my pants