YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap