and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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