the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.