Texts From Last Night

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  (415): View more from California

  some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.

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  (415): some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting. http://tfl.nu/ppub
  Replies (16) Good night (4212) Bad night (730)
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  (906): View more from Michigan

  last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that

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  (906): last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that http://tfl.nu/8upf
  Replies (16) Good night (1865) Bad night (5590)
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  (865): View more from Tennessee

  I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth

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  (865): I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth http://tfl.nu/mdm2
  Replies (13) Good night (1657) Bad night (4457)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER

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  (407): At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER http://tfl.nu/tf88
  Replies (4) Good night (2674) Bad night (977)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.

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  (248): Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it. http://tfl.nu/o1jt
  Replies (8) Good night (4115) Bad night (1295)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.

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  (615): The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted. http://tfl.nu/wtc2
  Replies (4) Good night (3249) Bad night (1075)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.

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  (615): The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment. http://tfl.nu/6ofo
  Replies (7) Good night (2167) Bad night (955)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.

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  (206): LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat. http://tfl.nu/zl1y
  Replies (6) Good night (2905) Bad night (1166)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.

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  (630): I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks. http://tfl.nu/bpzl
  Replies (3) Good night (1788) Bad night (571)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.

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  (402): He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians. http://tfl.nu/6owi
  Replies (9) Good night (944) Bad night (2058)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy

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  (775): Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy http://tfl.nu/2l3y
  Replies (5) Good night (1384) Bad night (459)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.

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  (603): We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma. http://tfl.nu/dz4i
  Replies (3) Good night (1361) Bad night (442)
• Favorite

  (312): View more from Illinois

  I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights

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  (312): I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights http://tfl.nu/amvj
  Replies (5) Good night (1091) Bad night (490)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.

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  (508): Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry. http://tfl.nu/belr
  Replies (1) Good night (709) Bad night (304)
• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.

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  (843): After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT. http://tfl.nu/qpcc
  Replies (4) Good night (1157) Bad night (297)

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