ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
