So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
