There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
