I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
