used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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