what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
The convent might be a nice break from real life
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
