just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
