what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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