i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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