return my video game
at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
