he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
