Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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