I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
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I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
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If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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