if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
