Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
