the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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