She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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