There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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