The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
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