Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
