Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
