i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
