All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize