eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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