i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
