Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
