I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
