The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I came so hard my ears popped.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
