If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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