I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize
